Initiate Yourself: Recipes for Evolution in December 2020
Theme for December – Honor Complexity
With several viable vaccines in our near future, we’re wandering toward what a post-Covid world will be like, even though we must get through what is shaping up to be a harsh winter (at least in the Northern Hemisphere). With this new dawn in the distance, it’s time to consider what you need to heal from and how you will do it. Where will you put in labor to become a full and functioning person again?
Given that so much of this year has been “unprecedented,” this is one of the best times to deviate from and improve dysfunctional patterns. This holiday season, dismantle obligatory traditions and elevate ones that are truly valuable to you. What didn’t you inherent from a thief? What parts of even historically harmful traditions remain harvestable? There is maturity in salvaging and holding aspects of culture with nuance rather than complete abandonment. Choose how you will honor the complexity of where you came from and where you are going. But, while you contemplate this, make sure to create and find the space to rest, hibernate, recuperate. You, too, are an animal in need of settling and sleep.
Experiments for December
1. Rest and Resistance as Teacher – When you listen to your body, when you listen to your fatigue and don’t wish it away with caffeine or determination, your exhaustion has something to teach you. Whether that is simply a call to rest or a plea to redirect your energy, there is value in this listening. Consider reading this article about radical rest by Matt Carmichael and allow it to inform how you approach each type of tired you are from the countless stresses of this year.
Challenge Mode: Identify an area where you consistently put energy in over time. What would it look like to bloom with short bursts of energy instead? Does this allow for longer periods of rest? Does this pooling of energy provide more value than slow and steady dedication over time?
2. Compete with Yourself – Rather than compare yourself to others, pay attention to the ways you have grown as a person. How have you improved in the last year? In which areas are you still resistant to healing? Have you made commitments to transformation and kept them? Why or why not? Focus on your own improvement rather than competing with others allows you to maximize what is possible for everyone playing and gives you more relevant data to work with. Consider also how this is relevant for you in the games you play on social media.
Challenge Mode: Rather than wait until January to make your resolutions, start now. What habits do you want to form? What improvements do you want to make? Beginning now will allow you to say, “I’ve been doing this since last year” once we pass into 2021. Get ahead of the curve and invest in yourself in healthy, sustainable arenas with resolutions that have a good chance to stick.
3. Secrets and Surprises – If you are giving gifts this season, you may already be keeping secrets from those you love. What is the experience of this in your body? How to you manage the pent-up energy? Where do you resort to trickery or contorting the truth for the sake of the surprise? When is it most difficult to hold these secrets? When is it easy? Consider how these behaviors extend to secret keeping in more subliminal places in your life. Do you keep secrets from yourself?
Challenge Mode: If you are keeping secrets or setting up surprises, dig into what you get out of doing that. Are you looking for a momentary reaction? Are you looking for warmth and affection? Are you looking for reciprocation? Humans rarely perform wholly selfless acts. Accept this and approach with curiosity. What makes keeping secrets worthwhile to you?
4. Layers upon Layers upon Layers – Somatically, we want to play with how to gently go deeper into our bodies. Whether you are exercising or meditating, aim for non-violent ways to involve more of the body. Maybe start with your awareness of your skin before moving to your awareness of muscle. And, from muscle, moving to blood or to bone. How does the sensation deepen as you move down these layers? What opens when you are as deep as you can comfortably go into your own body?
Challenge Mode: Grief is a messy process, and the body must be involved for grief to move fully through you. Each of us has something to grieve this year; open yourself up to the well and flood of it when you have a safe moment to yourself. Move your body with the grief. Stretch. Run. Jump. Cry. Sob. Scream. Shake. We have oscillated from hysteria and violence this year many times over, so take the time and space you need to release this stored energy. We have work to do.
Please tell us how these experiments are working for you! We would love to hear from you at r/highpriestesses.
If you like these experiments, please consider donating to our Patreon.
Andra’s Recap of November’s Experiments
The recipes for November included recognizing where you support systems you don’t believe in, noticing which communities have value to you, considering where you have given others consent to represent you, and finding the building block of your interests and pleasure.
With the election and the agonizingly slow process of getting the actual results, I thought a lot about the systems I am frustrated with and refuse to support in the future. I also asked my employers if we will get election day off in the future; I’ve become something of a squeaky wheel there. I’ve also spent time and energy into building the new systems I want to exist. For starters, I have been delivering donated yarn to fellow crochet and knit crafters to help make warm garments for houseless folx. Additionally, I’ve put a lot of thought into how the media is shaping the way we all interact in the world.
Regarding the value of community, I have relied more heavily on the inherent value there, even independent of specific activities we might do together. The people in my social network are hard at work in transforming the world into something we can all be proud of, and having them as friends is enormously valuable to me. I’ve also realized that, the more I know about someone, the more I need to grapple with whether or not their values align with mine as I can no longer feign ignorance about it. Those interactions take a little more work to get to a philosophically aligned space, but putting in that labor reduces the residue of the actions I take with that person, and I have found this to be a valuable practice with friends, family, and strangers where applicable.
There is very little representation I am opting into. I have a lot of frustrations with the way government handles representation, and I have little faith in how others might represent me, especially when we do not fully understand each other. However, I cannot be and do everything at once, so I recognized that I must make some compromises. I have enjoyed following and getting to know progressive congresspeople coming in now that the election is over and watching them really stick to their guns about their platforms and policies, and it makes me proud, even if they do not directly represent me in my location.
Regarding my relationship to media, I have determined that engaging on very popular posts (for instance) is not always the most valuable way to be spending my energy. Asking what do I want out of this interaction? is a good way to decide whether to put time and energy there. However, this month, I found very valuable ways to share major news with a public group unrelated to my friend group that allowed me to keep surprises from my friends while still engaging with others about my own excitement. It was a fun new way to use the platform. Otherwise, I’m still grappling with what to do about news media, but I think that will be an ongoing process.
Lately, the building block and foundational element to my pleasure has been crocheting. Something about it is at once somatic and philosophical and really connects my mind and body in a way that feels at once comforting and productive. In thinking about maximizing the pleasure I get from this and expanding it to the rest of my life, I have learned how to prioritize projects where I am learning something as those are often the most satisfying. I also have identified that, when I start to get lazy about a pattern, there is something present that I am not enjoying, and finding that and learning how to navigate out of that has improved the ways I view laziness in the rest of my life. Specifically, I now feel like laziness is a cue to look at why I don’t enjoy what I’m presently doing.
Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy this month’s experiments!